I often wonder what people are thinking when they get pregnant. This is usually a day of joy, finding out that you are pregnant. In the case of a friend of mine, this was not such a happy day.
It began a few years ago when she realized she was having her first baby. She was a mere 21 years old, and still living at home. She had no job and could barely take care of herself. Now what was she going to do with a baby on the way? My friend had many hurdles to jump, and she did her best to overcome these. She received lots of help from her parents.
Her pregnancy was a difficult one, but she managed the best that she could. Her son was born, and she tried to make a life for the two of them. The father of the baby was not in the picture, so it was up to her to be both parents. She lived with her parents for a while, but soon decided to get her own place. It wasn't the best home, but it was hers.
When her son was about three months old, he became irritable and cried most of the time. The Dr. said the baby had colic. One night, after my friend put her son down to sleep, he began his usual fussy crying. She was exhausted and just let him cry. He must have cried for a while and began rolling back and forth in his crib. My friend no longer heard him crying and assumed he went to sleep. Little did she know, he had moved just enough and became wedged in between the wall and the matress. She had him in a crib that only had three sides. One of the sides was pushed against the wall. Her biggest mistake was not checking on him before she went to sleep. He suffocated and died. It was a very tragic day for her when she awoke to find that he had passed away. It took her a very long time to get over this.
After an entire year of trying to recover from the death of her son, my friend became pregnant again. This time she vowed to be the best mother ever and has taken good care of her daughter. The only unfortunate thing was that this time DFACS became involved with her daughter's care. They were going to make sure she did, in fact, take good care of her daughter.
My friend was required to have weekly counseling sessions, but she missed quite a few of them. She was having issues with having to relive the death of her son. Talking about things from the past was very difficult for her, and she turned to pot to help her relax. Of course, DFACS soon realized this was happening and they threatened to take her daughter. She had only one chance of keeping her; she must be admitted for inpatient care.
She did agree to the treatment, but she often had a very bad attitude and didn't take what the therapists were saying to heart. This made her life harder and she soon realized what she needed to do. She began listening and finally the treatment center released her. She moved back in with her parents and started outpatient therapy.
It wasn't long until she was asked to write a life story essay, which included her story about her son. The pot habit came back again, and she soon found herself in serious trouble. Her therapist requested a urine sample at her next appointment. Of course she was positive for drugs once again. I guess she didn't learn her lesson the first time. DFACS took her daughter and placed her in foster care. What a sad day!
It has been three weeks since her daughter has been in foster care. She has visited her on a regular basis. She is still in therapy and doing well. Her attitude has become better, and she is actively searching for a job. She has gotten word from the courts that she will soon be reunited with her daughter. I am hoping beyond hope that she stays straight and is a good mommy. Her daughter deserves it.
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